I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
