Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
