So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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