Soap is not a condiment
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
