mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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