Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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