guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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