I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
