I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize