My room smells like vodka and shame
Nicole vs. Life
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
