the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
