I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
