I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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