He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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