They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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