I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
