I will die if light touches me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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