is your mom at the bar?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
