last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
