I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
