what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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