At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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