GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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