Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize