dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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