i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
