Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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