Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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