Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
