she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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