They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
