he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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