I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
