Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
