You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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