Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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