I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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