there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
