Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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