Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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