dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
