when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
