I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
