I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
