Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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