ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
