I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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