I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
