Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
