Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
