my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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