Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
