I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
