I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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