That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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